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Castleknock Celtic 3 - 0 Ardmore Rovers
The Force Awakens with Resistance joined by Order.
He stood in goal, all dressed in Black, no not Roy Orbison but Dawide "Kylo Ren” Biernat looking all commanding and supreme.
His First Order troops in front of him was made up of Ethan “Supreme Leader Snoke” O’Reilly, Dylan, "General Hux” Thompson, Bradley “Stromtrooper” Creighton and Jake “Teedo” Rice.
For this sequel the Resistance joined in with the First Order and so also on display was Dylan “Finn” Osborne, Adam “Chewbacca” Geraghty, Dylan "Han Solo” Coyne, Nkemjika “Poe Dameron” Onemwerha, Captain Evan “Captain Phasma” Ryan, Josh “Luke Skywalker” Holland, Cian “Rey” Da Costa and Lee “BB-8” Canavan. So, that should keep the Oscar gang happy, male, female and even animals included….
It is obvious from the above we were playing a game of football, right? And what a game it was. Cold, windy and grass up the the knees of Han and Chewbacca in some places. Game on and the Castleknock Force was right at it, slick passing moves and off the ball movement. Think x-wings attacking the Death Star and jinking left and right. It was The Force who started the brightest and some early pressure paid off with a succession of corners. No goals but signs of promise. Ardmore were battling hard but were no match for The Force and it was Supreme Leader Snoke who started the move for the first goal. Taking the ball off Kylo Ren in the right back position he quickly released BB-8 in midfield. With great thought BB-8 played into the feet of Han Solo. Han found Captain Phasma on the edge of the galaxy and he kept Ardmore at bay with some fine hold up play. Playing back to Han Solo and BOOM, warp speed past the keeper. 1-0 and smiles all round.
The Force were dominating now but were too slow in dealing with long balls over the top, giving Ardmore too much time. But Kylo Ren was in goal and nothing was getting past him (when it did he used the Force to change direction of the ball anyway (or maybe it was the wind!). And on the pattern of play went. Goal number 2 was a beauty aswell. Kylo Ren saw Rey in space and laser pass to Rey who headed on to Poe Dameron, fast as his fighter jet and a cross shot. Going wide only for Han Solo to arrive in his Millennium Falcon at the back post and slide the ball into an empty net. 2-0 at half time and time to reflect.
As we know Poe Dameron is the fastest resistance fighter pilot in his jet, but sometimes our Poe Dameron thinks he is actually in a jet and does not have to move his legs. But when he does, zoom. Kick Off after half time and Poe Dameron stood languidly by as he watched Rey hassle and harry the Ardmore players. Rey won possession and suddenly Poe Dameron sprung to life, outpaced 2 Ardmore players to the ball and smashes home. 3-0 15 seconds into the second half. 30 seconds later and Captain Phasma was unlucky pulling a shot wide. Gerenal Hux, Teedo and Stormtrooper were now bossing the back line. Corner after corner was won. While the resistance and first order can fight till the death if required and blow up planets and send galaxies into black holes, they seem to be afraid of a football from a corner. Luke Skywalker was sending in supreme corners all day. The Strictly Judges on the sideline (you know who you are) reckon a lollypop for the first player to properly head the ball from a corner is required (don’t tell RTE)…. Perhaps next week. With 15 corners to show you can see that Castleknock dominated play. But still Kylo Ren had to make 4 Galaxy Class saves to save the day.
Sometimes you have to use your imagination with this teams report as if we used there actual names the best passage of play would read like this “Dylan passes to Dylan, quick pass to Dylan, back to Dylan, passed to Dylan who found Dylan in space with a lovely pass and Dylan powered a volley only for the keeper to put around for a corner. Oh, and guess what the Ardmore keepers name was…..Martin. In our world it reads normally “ General Hux passes to Han Solo, quick pass to Finn, back to General Hux, passed to Finn who found Han Solo in space with a lovely pass and Han Solo powered a volley only for the keeper to put around for a corner. See! 3-0 it ended in a match Castleknock dominated though hard work and crisp passing.
And so to man of the match. It was very tough. All 13 players were excellent, with a big shout out to Captain Phasma, Supreme Leader Snoke, Chewbacca and Kylo Ren. But for high intensity tacking, awesome recovery runs and always being there to help his teammates (going forward and defending) and not forgetting 2 goals it goes to Dylan "Han Solo" Coyne. Han better keep an eye on Kylo Ren as he brings him to training on Tuesday, we know what happened in the movie! After the game Stormtrooper was so proud telling one of the Judges about his header from a corner (he might have heard about the lollypop). "Point to the part of your head the ball hit". He didn’t point to his forehead. No Lolly….
